Anyone who has been married to a drug-addicted person knows how destructive it could be.
It can turn your life upside down, breaking the trust that was built throughout the relationship.
Drug and alcohol addiction is a common problem these days. A 2015 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH) reported that around 15.1 million adults have alcohol abuse disorder.
Another study was published in 2015 by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). According to that study, 10% of Americans had a drug use disorder at some point in their lives.
Drug addiction can ruin the life of an addict, as well as the person related to them. It is particularly unacceptable in a committed relationship like marriage.
Unlike your relationship with your parents or siblings, marriage takes the most work. Coping with an addicted spouse can make your life miserable. It’s because your partner will always choose the drug over you if he/she is actively addicted.
Tips to Deal With an Addicted Spouse
Dealing with an addicted spouse takes a lot of patience. It is not easy to end your marriage, especially when a child is involved.
Whether you want to stay in the marriage or not, you need to consider the following things to keep your partner away from the addiction:
1. Avoid Denial and Face the Facts.
Denying your spouse’s addiction is the biggest damage you can do to your marriage.
Sometimes people turn a blind eye to what is really going on with their partners. It’s because they feel ashamed to talk about their partner’s addiction. But, doing so will only harm you and your partner.
You may find it easier to pretend that there is no problem. But, facing your partner’s bad habit will help you to take control of it. It will help you to think clearly head what to do next. Remember, your spouse’s problem is your problem as well. If you can solve the problem, you can live a healthy and happy life together.
2. Learn About Addiction.
If you want to save your partner from the addiction, first you need to gain knowledge about it. Without the proper knowledge, you will only harm your partner, as well as your marriage.
Addiction is a disease. The way you can deal with the disease is by learning about it.
Read journals, and articles on drug addiction. Some online resources can help you in this matter.
Talk to a psychiatrist or join an online forum. Learn about how some people deal with their partner’s problem. With proper knowledge, you can develop a proper plan of action.
3. Understand Codependent Relationships.
Handling an addict as a spouse is a huge mental pressure. It can hurt your psychology as well. You might experience a panic attack, rage, or anxiety while dealing with an addicted partner. So, it’s important for you to understand how you fit into this addiction.
If you focus only on keeping your spouse away from the addiction, you won’t be able to focus on your life. It will be especially harmful if you have children. So, understand the problem and make gradual changes that can help your partner without harming you.
4. Cut Out Enabling.
You might find it difficult to say anything to a person you love about their addiction. But, if you tell them nothing, you will allow them to continue this destructive habit. It seems nice to be forgiving, but it will hurt both of your life.
You must give your spouse an ultimatum. They must try to go for recovery, or there will be consequences. It may seem difficult right now, but you must not live with an addict if they refuse to get help.
Remember, when your partner continuously refuses to get the treatment he/ she may become dangerous for you. In that case, you must not compromise.
5. Connect to a Support Group.
When it comes to living with a drug-addicted spouse, you are not alone. There are so many people with the same problem. You may find it easy to deal with yours if you talk to them.
Some support groups help you connect with other people who will understand your situation. If you share your problems with each other, it will help you to learn how to live with a person who struggles with such addictions.
6. Find a Therapist.
You must take your spouse to a therapist after you know about their addiction. A therapist can help you with proper guidance on how you can deal with this problem.
You may not be able to handle your addicted partner due to a lack of knowledge. A therapist can find out the exact problem of your spouse. He/she will then offer their therapy session accordingly.
How to Find a Therapist
There are two ways to find a good therapist for your spouse:
1. Meet a Therapist in Person.
Finding a good therapist is not that difficult. You can contact any rehabilitation center and see a good therapist.
A therapist will listen to both of you and your spouse’s problem to suggest a solution. He/she can help you both to understand each other’s problems and come up with a mutual understanding. A regular session may also help you regain your bonding with your partner.
2. Try Online Marriage Counseling.
Most people feel shy to talk about their addiction in a person. In that case, an online session can be helpful. Regain.us is such an online platform. You can connect with a reputed therapist from wherever you want. All you need is a laptop or mobile and a good internet connection.
Regain.us is an excellent platform for your relationship or marriage counseling. If you and your partner find it difficult to manage time for a therapy session, reach out to regain.us and get the online counseling at your suitable time. Regain.us cares for your privacy and will keep your family matter confidential.
Dealing with an addicted spouse can be frustrating. This problem can ruin your family and relationship. That’s why you must try to make your partner go for recovery.
Remember, this addiction can come back even after your partner has recovered. You must give proper time to your partner. Your bond can be stronger after surviving this battle together. You must also stay positive and take care of yourself.