A blended family occurs when you and your partner decide to start a new family with children from one or both of your past relationships. In this type of family, the children of your spouse are considered your half-children.
Combining two families into a new unit is not an easy task. It comes with a whole new environment, stepchildren, new commitment, and a lot of stress.
Although the blended family comes with some extra problems, you can still live a peaceful and happy life with your new family by overcoming those challenges.
This article will provide some useful tips that may help you to cope with a blended family.
1. Accept The Challenge Together
You want everyone in your new family to get along, which won’t be an easy task. And the earlier you accept that fact, the easier it will be to deal with this problem.
When you co-parent with your new partner, lots of challenges will be there with your child, as well as with their child from the previous relationship. Take your time and solve them slowly.
Remember, getting frustrated will make things more complicated. Stay calm and work out how you and your partner will deal with money, discipline, childcare, and other issues.
2. Make a Plan
You need a plan to make any task successful, even when it comes to starting a new relationship.
Before you move in with your new partner, sit with them, and make a plan on long-term goals and financial planning.
If you have children from both or one side, discuss the role a parent, you and your partner will play.
3. Make a Peaceful Alliance With Your Previous Relationship
You and your former spouse might be divorced, but that’s not the end of a relationship, especially when children are involved.
You may not have that emotional feeling for your ex, but remember, they are still your kid’s parents. Being cold, hurtful, or sabotaging your former spouse is, in a sense, doing the same to your children.
Moreover, don’t let your past relationship ruin your present one. It’s because a disrupted first marriage can easily finish your new one if you’re not careful. [1]
4. Talk to Your Children
While you want to get rid of your previous relationship and move on, your kid might not want the same. [2]
Your child didn’t get the chance to choose whether they want a new parent, along with a half-sibling. This situation often makes them upset, and furious, creating chaos in your home and your relationship.
In this situation, you must handle them with great care and patience. No matter how old they are, you need to talk to them and think about it from their point of view.
5. Create a Relationship With Your Step-Children
It might not be easier to create a bond with your step-children. The level of understanding won’t be the same as with your own children when it comes to your spouse’s children.
While you cannot force them to accept you, spending some special time with them may slowly break the ice.
However, do not rush in this matter as your stepchild might not be ready to accept you.
With this marriage, you’ve become a pivotal person in their life, so it’s your responsibility to build the relationship slowly.
6. Respect Your Spouse’s Relationship With The Children
You have a strong bond with your own children, and so does your spouse with their children. Do not force them to choose between you and their child.
As you are facing some time to have a normal and healthy relationship with your step-children, your spouse might have the same problem. It can be more difficult for them if they don’t have a child of their own.
Remember, your relationship with your spouse won’t harm you if they are close to their own child. Instead of being jealous, try to support them by nurturing their relationship with their child, as well as with your child.
7. Talk to a Family Counselor
A blended family can be difficult to navigate, and sometimes impossible. If you and your spouse fail to manage the chaos, it’s highly recommended that you seek help from a family counselor.
A family counselor will learn about your problem and help you sort through your thought and feelings.
Children are the biggest victims of divorce and remarriage. They might not feel safe and comfortable with their new parents, as well as their half-siblings. In that case, family counseling helps them to express their fears and concerns.
A counselor can help them understand their place in the new family unit and reassure them of your continued love and affection. If possible, invite your ex-spouse to that session.
Some licensed family counselors or therapists can help you with your family problems.
However, if you don’t have a good counselor in your locality, you can also go for an online family counseling such as Regain.
Final Thought
Blended families are complicated, and can be challenging to maintain if you and your partner aren’t cooperative.
Lots of difficulties and challenges arise when you start a new family where children from one or both sides get involved. Sit with your spouse and sort out how you’re going to deal with those problems together.
Do not forget about the children as it’s your job to make them feel comfortable and safe in their new family. Take help from a family counselor if needed.
It’s crucial to keep your home structured and peaceful, no matter how much how challenging the situation becomes.
